Out of Your Comfort Zone

I think one of the things I miss most about the mission experience is being out of my comfort zone. Life is just too comfortable and I don’t feel the personal growth I felt in Ukraine. Elder Pilisko mentioned the same thing when he and his wife came to our home for a visit. He was the first branch president in Evpatoria and he mentioned how inadequate he felt taking on that calling. I felt inadequate in a number of areas but you had to make up your mind to work through things by just doing it and relying on the Lord to assist as much as possible. When I was a bishop, I remember people asking me what was the most important part of their calling? What is your priority? How can I help you the most? My reply was always the same. “Just show up.” It was the same in the mission field. If you just showed up to tract, if you just showed up to English class, if you just showed up to companionship study – usually something happened and usually that something was good. Sue and I would usually try to walk in the early morning regardless of the city we were in. While walking we discussed the previous day and what was going to happen that day. Inevitably, we would end up talking about missionaries and how we loved watching them grow. The growth came through stretching into callings. I simply loved watching the faces of missionaries as I asked them to be senior companions. I don’t think there was a single missionary who didn’t dread but really wanted that day for a variety of reasons. Some missionaries didn’t want to be seniors – tough, I would tell them. You are next in line and now it is your time to be really challenged. Your mission starts now. Some missionaries would cry and plead not to be made a senior – I simply told them it was their time in the barrel and to buck up. Some missionaries were made seniors early on and others later. I liked telling the early on missionaries that they were going senior. The shock, the awe, the humility really showed through. You could see the fear on their faces along with the desire to be the leader. The same was true when I called some one to be a trainer, a branch president, or an assistant. The look of – am I ready, do I have the knowledge, can I really communicate, will they like me? I liked the look because what followed was usually a great deal of soul searching, prayer, repentance, and determination to get the job done - all those things that cause us to stretch and grow. I really think the most pressure filled calling was branch president. The responsibility of being the leader of a Ukrainian branch must have been awesome- a 20 or 21 year old kid, running a religious organization - awesome. It is almost laughable. How could you do this? Only one way and that is by, through, and with the spirit. No other way. If you didn’t have the spirit, you could not have survived. I do not regret calling anyone as branch president. Each missionary took the challenge and did wonderful things to help the branches grow. The branch presidents watched over their little flocks with care and love. There were many time members would tell me they would rather have missionaries as branch president as opposed to a brother in the congregation. Why? Because you showed forth love and compassion. I don’t think there was another calling that put missionaries into the fish bowl quite like being called as an assistant. If I had it all to do over again, I would change assistants every month. There was nothing like this calling to get a feel for the big picture view of the mission. Because the assistants drove around with us all the time, there was no way we couldn’t fall in love with them. Sue and I developed bonds that we wish we could have developed with every missionary. Every missionary called to be an assistant had a trait I needed for that time in the mission. I felt I just called the right person, for the right time, in the right place. I must admit I had a really hard time each time I had to replace an assistant. There were so many qualified missionaries to fill the vacancy. Some times the choice was as plain as the nose on your face while other times I really struggled. I think the thing I hated most about calling an assistant was that I was going to hurt feelings. There were so many deserving missionaries and so few chances. That’s why I would shorten the length of time as an assistant. The assistants had to have a thick skin because if they did something wrong – everyone would tell me about it. I also wish I could have found a way to give the sisters a leadership experience. Again, if I had it to do over again, we would have had more “sister” conferences. I don’t think I got the input from the sisters I needed or wanted to run the mission – for that I apologize. I hope you were stretched as much as the Elders. I’ve talked to a lot of former mission presidents. There have been some who had challenging experiences but nothing like Ukraine. We are so thankful we had a mission that caused us to stretch in our calling. We hope that you are having experiences now that are causing you to stretch. If not, go look for some.